Decision Room 2024: Team Moo Deng or Team Haggis?

It’s the decision that all of America is fighting over this week. Friendships are being lost, families are being torn apart, and the mental health of an entire nation rests upon how you will decide. The question, of course, is whether you’re Team Moo Deng or Team Haggis.

We kid. But just when you thought Moo Deng was fading away as the internet’s favorite feisty meme, a new adorable hippo has burst onto the scene. She’s called Haggis and can be found halfway around the world from Moo Deng’s home in Thailand.

Haggis was born on Oct. 30 to parents Otto and Gloria at the Edinburgh Zoo in Scotland. And not only has the zoo already stoked a rivalry on social media with a post throwing shade at Moo Deng, but the zoo has also posted an apology for stoking said rivalry. It’s like a low-stakes internet controversy speedrun.

The Edinburgh Zoo started all cocky, announcing the birth of Haggis to the world with “Moo Deng? Who deng? Introducing… Haggis” and an emoji of the Scottish flag.

Moo Deng? Who deng? Introducing… Haggis 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

Otto and Gloria have welcomed an ADORABLE pygmy hippo calf! She is doing well, but we’ll be keeping the hippo house closed for the time being so that our expert keepers can keep a close eye on mum and baby at this sensitive time 🦛💛 pic.twitter.com/ceGtARuzyR

— Edinburgh Zoo (@EdinburghZoo) November 4, 2024

Then came the zoo’s decision to retweet a joke about Demi Moore’s movie, The Substance:

Moo Deng rn: https://t.co/xPW67tEv7O pic.twitter.com/Or06aAlxrr

— Lisa Vanderbump (@montague90) November 4, 2024

And then, inevitably, came the Notes-app apology tweet:

https://t.co/JUCSznt1WZ pic.twitter.com/G7Paud7Z9C

— Edinburgh Zoo (@EdinburghZoo) November 4, 2024

But just in case you thought the zoo was actually sorry, social media users got an indication the apology was all done in jest. Because the zoo followed things up with a retweet of a joke from the Simpsons, making it clear Moo Deng is old news if you really love Haggis.

https://t.co/t9M7zHjZuR pic.twitter.com/P6ih33ZgFH

— samosasaurus 🦕🦖🍉 (@samosasaurus) November 4, 2024

Footage of Haggis has been posted to the YouTube page for STV News in Scotland, giving viewers an up-close look at the brand-new pygmy hippo calf.

Haggis is just a few days old, so she’s not hopping around like Moo Deng quite yet. Because if you know anything about Moo Deng, you know she likes to jump and thrash her body around like she’s tearing it up in a mosh pit. The cutest little hippo mosh pit.

With the election in the U.S. tomorrow, you may be asking yourself who each hippo might vote for, even though neither can actually vote as they’re neither U.S. citizens nor human beings. Well, we’ve still got you covered. Because Moo Deng and her mom were presented by the zookeepers at Khao Kheow Open Zoo in Thailand, with two cakes—one cake with the name Donald Trump and the other with Kamala Harris written on the top. Moo Deng unfortunately chose Trump, as you can see in the video below.

WATCH: Celebrity baby hippo Moo Deng predicts Trump will win US election based on which cake she eats

READ: https://t.co/J8wkF9goXS pic.twitter.com/1bYbjnnwI2

— Insider Paper (@TheInsiderPaper) November 4, 2024

Who would Haggis choose for president? Given the nature of their bitter and very long rivalry of five days, we have to assume Haggis would choose Harris. Haggis for Harris, as it were.

So which one are you? Team Haggis or Team Moo Deng? We won’t try to read anything political into your response.