My Son Was Defined by His Autism's 'Nevers'—a Trip Shows How Far We've Come

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The year was 2000. Our three-year-old son, RJ, had just been diagnosed with autism.

That day—a day we now call "The Never Day"—a developmental pediatrician handed us a laundry list of all the things RJ would supposedly never do:

Mainstream in school. Socially interact. Make friends. Go to college. Live independently. Drive. Hold meaningful employment. Travel comfortably or be in public spaces without struggle.

We were gutted. My husband, Rodney, and I wondered what sort of gloomy crystal ball this doctor was looking into—after all, RJ was just three years old.

But as parents do, we refused to give up. We rolled up our sleeves and vowed to challenge every "never" on that list, one at a time.

Later that year, RJ was expelled from a preschool that called him "unreachable."

Airplane travel became a gauntlet of unkind passengers and flight crews, with RJ often overwhelmed by sensory overload. At times, it felt like those "nevers" were turning into "forevers."

Holly Robinson Peete and son RJ
Holly Robinson Peete with her son RJ Peete during their trip to the Maldives. 2BPR/Holly Robinson Peete

But fast forward 24 years, and RJ's story is a testament to perseverance, love, and the power of believing in possibility.

Today, at 27 years old, RJ has defied nearly every prediction on that list. Two of those "nevers"—traveling on airplanes and meaningful employment—are now central to his life.

RJ has spent the last nine seasons as a clubhouse attendant for the Los Angeles Dodgers, the reigning 2024 World Series champions. This job has provided RJ with dignity, purpose, and a paycheck that has empowered him to self-advocate.

Even more, it has given him something he struggled to find as a child: Community. RJ went from having almost no friends to being surrounded by an entire clubhouse of supportive "brothers."

To celebrate the Dodgers' incredible championship win as well as a belated 60th birthday trip, RJ and I took a mother-son getaway to two dream destinations: The Maldives and Dubai. The trip was nothing short of magical.

Our journey began with a long flight to the Maldives, including an eight-hour layover in Istanbul, a city that had been on both our bucket lists.

It was a full-circle moment watching RJ, who once struggled so much navigating airports, now breeze through them with confidence.

RJ and Holly Robinson Peete
RJ and Holly Robinson Peete walking together on a beach in the Maldives. 2BPR/Holly Robinson Peete

As someone with autism, airports used to overwhelm RJ with sensory overload—from the chaotic sounds to the unpredictable pace of travel. But through years of practice and determination, RJ has transformed into my own personal travel agent.

He now knows the layouts of airports and seat maps of airplanes better than most seasoned travelers. He can identify the best seats on every plane, what services are offered, and which gates connect flights most efficiently.

After a short seaplane ride from Malé, we arrived at the stunning Avani+ Fares Maldives Resort, where turquoise waters and overwater bungalows greeted us. Our villa, complete with a glass-bottom bathtub, felt like a slice of paradise.

RJ, an avid swimmer and lover of all things aquatic, spent hours snorkeling in the warm cerulean waters, earning the nickname "the fish whisperer" for the way colorful fish followed him. We marveled at stingrays, sharks, turtles, and an endless parade of vibrant marine life.

Meanwhile, I stepped out of my comfort zone by taking a ballet class offered at the resort with a talented visiting dancer named Karis Scarlette. Despite my rusty skills (I haven't taken ballet since I was six years old!) Karis made me feel like a graceful swan for a brief moment, unlocking a joy I hadn't felt in years.

RJ Peete Holly Robinson Peete Karis Scarlette
Left, RJ Peete interacting with some birds of prey. Right, Holly Robinson Peete with dancer Karis Scarlette. 2BPR/Holly Robinson Peete

After soaking up the Maldives' beauty, we headed to Dubai, a city of breathtaking architecture, world-class hospitality, and endless surprises.

Our first stop was Anantara The Palm Dubai Resort, where we were treated to a spectacular welcome, including a chocolate "film reel" of my Hallmark Channel movies.

The lagoon-style pool outside our villa glowed with a serene blue light each night, and RJ and I shared unforgettable meals while dissecting every moment of the Dodgers' playoff run.

One of the trip's highlights was reconnecting with my dear friend Isti, whom I hadn't seen in over a decade. Isti, inspired by her own journey raising a child with special needs, founded Dubai Heights Academy, an inclusive school where children of all abilities learn together.

RJ and I had the honor of reading our children's book, My Brother Charlie, to a group of curious and surprisingly attentive four- and five-year-olds. It was a profoundly moving experience to witness Isti's vision in action.

Holly Robinson Peete RJ Isti Dubai school
RJ and Holly Robinson Peete with Isti, founder of Dubai Heights Academy. 2BPR/Holly Robinson Peete

We wrapped up our Dubai adventure at Anantara World Islands Dubai Resort, an extraordinary property offering jaw-dropping views of the city skyline. Our two-story villa with a private pool felt like pure luxury.

We explored nearby bird sanctuaries, bonded with peacocks, swam in a striking black-bottom pool, marveled at dreamy liquid sunsets, and even visited the iconic Burj Khalifa.

Last, but certainly not least, we were both blissfully restored by tension-melting Island Lava Shell Massages at Anantara Spa. The experience was rejuvenating and grounding, a perfect way to soak in the tranquility of this one-of-a-kind resort.

This trip was more than a vacation—it was a celebration of how far RJ has come and a reminder of the limitless possibilities ahead. From a "never" list that once loomed so large, RJ has checked off milestone after milestone.

And as we reflect on this journey, one thing is clear: The "nevers" that once defined our lives are now nothing but fuel for RJ's ever-expanding dreams. I always say I wouldn't change RJ for the world, but I will always try to change the world for RJ!

Here's to more milestones, more adventures, and more unforgettable moments ahead.

Holly Robinson Peete is an actress, author, and philanthropist.

All views expressed are the author's own.

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