Shirley Ballas reveals 'dark times' in life and health battle she kept secret for years

Strictly's head judge, Shirley Ballas, may be known for her glitz and glamour, but she's not afraid to address more challenging topics. During a break from filming her eighth series of the BBC dance show, the Merseyside-born former Latin American champion chats to OK! about her top Strictly moments and providing much-needed cuddles backstage.

She also opens up about how she navigates life's "dark times" - as well as her struggle with bladder leaks. Shirley is the new ambassador of a campaign to encourage women to do their pelvic floor exercises and seek help if they're suffering leaks, and when asked how the role came about, she bursts into laughter.

"It did take a minute when I was invited to do this, because even though I can talk about this among my friends, it's a bit of a taboo subject," she explains. "But when I sat with my mum Audrey, who's 87, she said to me, 'Think of all the women you could help, think of all the people out there for whom you could make it not such a taboo subject.' She has a much better memory than me and reminded me of some of the things I've been through myself."

Shirley, 64, explains that she had her own experiences of the issue after the birth of her son Mark, now 38, and during menopause. She's now on a "mission" to encourage open conversations as part of her involvement with Always Discreet's Squeeze the Day campaign, reports OK!.

"One of the times leaks have affected me was of course when I gave birth to Mark when I was 25 and I had to wear a sort of napkin and get back to dancing straight away, there was no sort of help for me or anything. I gave birth to him and there was nobody there for me, it was just, 'Get back to it and don't complain.' I was in pain and I was breast-feeding and I remember my boobs leaking in the church and nobody really cared or helped.

"It wasn't pretty for me after I gave birth to my son or during menopause. I kept it all very personal, as I did with the menopause, but my mum thinks life is about helping people, that's why I'm on this mission. So, I think it's important we talk about bladder leaks, and the more I talk about it, the easier it becomes."

Shirley gave birth to her son Mark Ballas - now a three-times Dancing with the Stars champion in the US - in 1986, not long after tying the knot with his father and fellow dance prodigy, America's Mark 'Corky' Ballas.

"It was very different back then," she shared. "I was still working the night before I gave birth and six weeks after he was born, I had to get back to dancing. I remember my dance teacher saying to me at the time, 'How dare you come out here and compete with those stretch marks? ' He marked us sixth in a competition we should've really won.

"I still remember the feeling that he left me with. And then I was in the darkest place in my life during menopause. It's only now that I'm learning a lot more about it, and I just want to make it easy and not a taboo subject."

After eight years as head judge, Shirley plays something of a motherly figure behind the scenes, generously offering insight and encouragement along with her expert critique. This support holds particular significance given the show's historic 20th series, which was at risk of being overshadowed by claims of misconduct, leading to a BBC inquiry.

Strictly Come Dancing's head judge Shirley Ballas has opened up about her emotional connection to the show, revealing that she feels more in tune with the behind-the-scenes dynamics this series. "I feel like this series, particularly, I'm more aware of everything that's going on backstage, and if I feel that somebody needs an extra snuggle bunny cuddle, I take off my Strictly dance hats and I'm there on an emotional basis for some people," she shared.

Shirley also spoke about the various roles she takes on during the show: "So I've learnt on Strictly that I wear several hats all the time. The happy hat, the need-a-cuddle hat, the strict hat, the technical hat. I've got all these kinds of hats going on and I do feel a responsibility.

"I am a person that never just goes into the job on a Saturday. I'm renowned and known for finding different ways to say things. I study, even though it's my lifelong job, I'm always trying to deliver something with a twinkle in the eye and a message that gives somebody the thought that they can improve next week and come back stronger and go for that final."

This year's Strictly has been a hit, with a fantastic celebrity cast and impressive dancing. The dreaded 'curse' hasn't been a talking point, as everyone is focused on the positive stories emerging from the show.

Shirley added, "They're the strongest cast backstage that I feel have really grouped together to say, 'OK, we're on a mission to all do well and bring the best to the families at home.' And that's all this show ever wants to do among everything else that we go through."

Reflecting on memorable moments, Shirley said: "Ann Widdecombe, who I love, because she was at my first interview when I went to get the job. They told me, 'You've got 15 seconds to comment on the people that will flash up on the screen.' Then Ann Widdecombe flashed up and she was cleaning the floor in a yellow dress. I was lost for words, it was the first time in my life I've been tongue-tied."

"And also Kelvin Fletcher. He wasn't supposed to be on the show but I think Jamie Laing had hurt his foot at the last minute, so Kelvin stepped in at the last minute and danced the samba... I've never seen a man dance a samba like that in my entire life! "

While many revere her as the matriarch of Strictly, Shirley considers herself more a guardian of its legacy, and she confesses she would walk away contented if her journey with the show ended tomorrow.

"I don't feel any pressure when I'm on Strictly because, let's say if they didn't renew my contract and I wasn't on it next year, I would be so eternally grateful for the eight series that I've had," she says. “I have experienced nothing but beautiful souls who have always been there for me in dark times, when it comes to the social media or press or whatever. I’ve got memories to take with me and that’s what life’s about. Life is about building those memories and Strictly Come Dancing has definitely given me those.”

November is Bladder Health Awareness Month and Always Discreet has partnered with TV Judge and International Dance Champion, Shirley Ballas for its Squeeze The Day campaign. Visit alwaysdiscreet.co.uk/en-gb/squeeze-the-day