Katherine Ryan, 41, says 'I want more kids' but is worried after 'three miscarriages in five years'

Katherine Ryan is currently on tour with her new show Battleaxe, but is making sure she's home every night to be with her three children - Violet, 15, Fred, three, and Fenna, one

Katherine Ryan has revealed that she's constantly battling mum guilt as a stand-up comedian and mothers - doing comedy shows by night and looking after her kids during the day. Speaking to OK! in an exclusive chat, the comedian says: "It is different touring as a mum. I don’t mean to disparage the male comedians in my industry – some of them are wonderful, hands on dads – but I don’t see the same level of zigzagging back and forth. There’s always going to be guilt."

Despite being only one-fifth through her European 'Battleaxe' tour, Katherine makes sure she returns home every night to be there when her children Violet, 15, Fred, three, and Fenna, one, wake up. "I FaceTime them if I’m in Europe but if I’m in the north of England or anything less than three hours away, then I come home," she states. "There was one weekend where it was raining a lot. I was in Bradford, then Warrington, then Manchester and then Stoke, and there were floods. It was a bit silly to be zigzagging back and forth but Fred had his assessments for reception and Violet had her assessments for sixth form. There are things going on. It’s probably not climate-friendly but I drive back and forth because then I can be home in the morning and I can be home for the day."

Katherine Ryan has become a household name in British TV, hosting popular shows like Your Face Or Mine and All That Glitters, as well as regularly appearing on panel shows alongside fellow comedians Jimmy Carr, David Mitchell, and Dara O'Briain. With a packed schedule that includes a stint on The Masked Singer and a judging role on Canada's Got Talent, Katherine is in high demand. Despite her success, she still struggles to balance her work and personal life. "I feel guilty about being away in Canada, especially for 10 days. That’s the longest I’ve been away from anyone – even Violet. It’ll be weird. I try to be at home as much as I can. Plus, I love being at home."

Luckily, Katherine has the support of her partner Bobby Kootstra, with whom she entered into a civil partnership in 2019 after rekindling their romance the previous year. However, adjusting to co-parenting with Bobby has taken some time for Katherine, who had previously raised her daughter Violet alone after becoming a single mother at 25. "I know for single mothers who are financially insecure like I was, I would hate for them to hear me say that it was magical and the best years of my life but that really is how I feel," she confesses.

"It probably was harder but I don’t remember that part. I just remember the closeness that we had, the unique relationship that you have with your daughter when you’re a single mother. She was so easy and emotionally mature and so portable. Now Bobby has come into the picture, the babies are here and everyone is well supported because we’re a family unit.” She adds, “I think arguably it’s better for the children to have siblings and a dad at home, but Violet and I were really happy and I like to intensely love one thing or one person."

Katherine admits she sometimes forgets to take Bobby's views into account when making decisions about their children. "It really is a different dynamic now and I found it empowering as a single mother not to have to ask for anyone’s input," she explains. "Even today, I had my friend who is a builder come over to fix some cracks in the house. I didn’t tell Bobby I was doing that and he was like, ‘Isn’t he going to be in the way?’ I just forget to consider that. As a single mum, you just power ahead at your own speed. I suffer from hyper independence as a trauma response, I always say to Bobby. Now I have to learn how to trust someone else, how to consider someone else and do things not my way."

The Canadian comedian Katherine Ryan has confessed her desire for a bigger brood is at odds with the ticking clock. "I’m old. I used to think I was going to be the babies’ dad because I’m working but actually I’m like their grandmother," she jokes. "My back hurts, sometimes I give them treats. I’m like a fun grandma." In the latest series of their reality TV show 'Parental Guidance', Katherine, along with partner Bobby, delve into the depths of fertility – an experience which opened Katherine’s eyes and made her reconsider extending her family.

"We’ve always gotten pregnant with the babies quite quickly. I’ve been pregnant five times in five years, but that also means I’ve had three miscarriages in five years and the likelihood of that increases as you get older. You have to find a balance between what you can personally stand and risks you’re willing to take. I’m working a lot and I don’t know if I could have a medical emergency like that while I’m in Lisbon on Thursday."

Katherine has made it clear that surrogacy isn't for her, despite its popularity with stars like Kim Kardashian and Chrissy Teigen. "It’s controversial to say but I wouldn’t want that labour – both literal and also the workload – to fall on another woman," she expresses. "I think surrogacy is wonderful. It’s beautiful for people who are really eager to offer it and for couples who need it but for me, I think it would be exploitative.” For now, Katherine is focusing on work. “We’ve taken this year to focus on the tour. It’s the first time I’ve toured in a long time without a newborn or pregnancy and these are things that working mothers in every industry have to consider,” she says.

In her show 'Katherine Ryan: Battleaxe', she touches on a range of topics from industry predators to being an older mum with a teenage daughter. However, she's mindful about how she discusses her family in her act. "I’ve always respected this invisible boundary where I don’t think that what I say is ever exploitative,” she reveals. “I take the mick out of my husband quite a lot but he understands the cadence of comedy. Everyone in my family has a sense of humour – they don’t take anything too personally."

“Violet gives as good as she gets – I’m mostly mindful about her. I would never exploit her the way that I’ve heard male comedians talk about their daughter’s first periods. Maybe their daughters are fine with it but you have to consider what they might or might not be fine with five years down the line. This material exists forever.”

Unfortunately, this material is sometimes used by school bullies to taunt Violet – but she can hold her own. "Violet’s friends – or enemies – will say to her, ‘My mum says your mum has a nose job,’ which I don’t. They will try to bully her through me because there’s loads of me they can use as ammunition. They can find one of my TikToks and send it to Violet and say, ‘Your mum is so cringe.’ Violet luckily has inherited my imperviousness to that kind of criticism which I did not have when I was 15. I don’t know where she gets it from so young. She’s just like, ‘People are slagging you off again.’” Although there’s one area of Katherine’s stand-up that Violet – like any typical teen – has a problem hearing.

“The only thing she doesn’t like is any time I talk about having sex with my husband,” Katherine laughs. “She thinks that’s super cringe. She’ll be like, ‘You are disgusting. You have children.’ I’m like, ‘All I ever say about sex is that I barely have sex!’ It’s not like I’m out here, sex-positive, advertising dildos. It could be a lot worse!” With hubby Bobby on dinner duty, Katherine Ryan reveals family mealtimes have never been easier, all thanks to their team-up with meal kit company Gousto.

"I love the delicious meals that they’ve taught my husband to make. This project is called Get It Off My Plate and it’s all about getting some of those dinnertime dilemmas shared by people living these overwhelming lives,” Katherine says. “I don’t know how people choose what to eat seven days a week – we get Gousto four days a week which is great because it removes that stress.” She adds, “Although sometimes I do gravitate towards #girldinner – like a gherkin out of the fridge that I wrap in cheese and put some mustard on it. Which is just disappointing.”

As Brits have more on their plate than ever before, Gousto takes a bite out of the to-do list to make planning, cooking and eating dinner as effortless (and delicious) as can be. Partnering with ambassador and comedian Katherine Ryan, and ceramicist ‘Margo in Margate’, Gousto launches the ‘Off My Plate’ ceramic plate range inviting Brits to get their mealtime mental load off their chest and onto Gousto’s plate. Visit gousto.co.uk/offmyplate to get your hands on a limited-edition plate.