Survivor 47 ends with a satisfying winner and a stunning reveal

It’s not always at the end of a Survivor finale that I’ve felt like there’s both a satisfying winner—I believe all winners deserve the money, because they’ve convinced the jury, and that’s all that matters—and a strong wrap-up, but Survivor 47 absolutely delivered both.

The season ended with yet another dominant female winner: Rachel is the seventh new-era winner, and the new era’s fifth woman and fourth woman of color to win.

That’s notable because of how few women or people of color won before season 41. The new era has now tied seasons 1-40 for number of women of color to win, while women won 37 percent of seasons 1 to 40, and now 71 percent of new-era seasons. As a pasty white man, I saw plenty of people who looked like me win Survivor, so I’m grateful for better casting and great players.

My fear that a two-week, four-hour finale would be overstuffed was unnecessary; this was so much better than the usual three-hour finale, with small tweaks that brought it back toward pre-new era Survivor.

The final Tribal Council discussion returned to the original format: just each person asking questions. No themes, no spokesperson. There was more time for conversation during the aftershow, and far less pizza passing!

Before that, there was a modified version of Rites of Passage, hurray! More than 10 years ago, Jeff Probst said was “done” because “it just doesn’t have any value.”

Oh, and let us not forget the drama, from Rachel’s challenge win to an actually tense fire-making challenge to the absolutely stunning confession from Sue about how she escaped a nursing home just to become the oldest person in the history of television to spend 26 days covered in filth.

The actual game play and outcome may not have been all that surprising, but it was a rollicking ride getting there during these 14 episodes.

Before my recap of the events and even more jokes about Sue’s age lie: Thanks for being here with me for this super-fun season! If you’re not already on the list, add yourself to my newsletter, so you can keep up with my between-season coverage, plus other recaps, like The Traitors!

Teeny Chirichillo, Sue Smey, Rachel LaMont, and Sam Phalen learn about the final Survivor 47 immunity challenge from Jeff Probst (Image from Survivor via CBS)

As the episode began, the finalists reflected on their time on the show, and their final steps in the game. Sam said he felt like “I really feel like I’m one day away” from winning, while Teeny was thrilled to “pitch my case to win,” which I really wish we’d seen because what would that have been?

Teeny also shared that Survivor 47 was “my dream of all time” and “the highest high of my 23 years of life.” I realize Teeny is older than Sue, but 23 is so young, and helps place some of her recent outbursts into context.

Before the Teeny/Sam fire face-off, Teeny said “Sam and I have had a complicated relationship. And it’s more my end of things.” Then Teeny did the thing that makes it “one-sided”: projected a bunch of stuff that come from stereotypes rather than the person who’s right there, saying “Sam’s somebody who probably when he was younger probably got a lot of attention from girls” and got to move desks around classrooms.

But then! Teeny admitted, “I’ve projected insecurities onto him.” That was last summer; now, Teeny told EW something similar: “my outburst after the Italian reward challenge was such a low for me. I completely lost all self-control and self-awareness and allowed some gender insecurities to manifest as an obnoxious tantrum which doesn’t even align with how I feel about Sam, who is lovely and who I got along with extremely well out there on a personal level.”

That’s introspection few of us are capable of, and hopefully reduces some of the unjustified anger toward Teeny.

The next morning was day 25, two full weeks before most seasons ended, and the players were off to the final immunity challenge. Jeff Probst said, “This is what stands between you and a million dollars.” Yes, this big hunk o’ man meat yelling in your face. Oh wait, no, another obstacle course.

With such a high-stakes showdown, of course it had to involve poles and balls, plus mud and a puzzle.

I’d complain about yet another puzzle challenge, but the hanging bat itself was very cool. And then I saw Christian Hubicki‬ and Mike Bloom mentioning on Bluesky that we haven’t had a final immunity challenge with a puzzle since Survivor: Game Changers—13 seasons ago! I had no idea it’d been so long.

After screaming “dig!” to someone crawling through mud—kinda the wrong direction there—Narrator McExposition yelled “this is where you step up and grab it,” referring, of course, to a pole.

Rachel was far ahead at the combination lock, but everyone caught up, and Sam unlocked his first. It’s unclear if he saw the clue on the back of everyone’s lock, which said “It’s what you need to do” or heard Probst yelling “it’s what you need to do now!” That’s a clue!!!! I’m telling you the answer!!!!!!!” The answer was UNLOCK. Sam got it first, so Rachel was behind getting to her puzzle.

Sue and Teeny, meanwhile, were far behind. Sue made it to the combo second, but then fell behind. Teeny would have beaten Sue to the final platform except couldn’t get a rope cut with a machete. “I’m so confused,” Teeny said, whacking away at the rope, before eventually sawing it.

“We got a challenge!” Narrator McExposition yelled. Yes, friend, we know; calm down and drink your juice box.

Sam had a solid start on his puzzle, but Rachel pulled ahead, unflappable as usual. Both Teeny and then Sam went over to cheat off Rachel multiple times, but they could not catch up, even after Rachel screwed up .

Rachel’s three previous individual immunity idol wins prove how dominant she is as a physical player, and Probst told us she is now “in the Survivor hall of fame” with the five women have won four individual immunity challenges. They are Kelly Wiglesworth, Jenna Morasca, Kim Spradlin, and Chrissy Hofbeck. Rachel later named them, and pointed out Kelly and Chrissy both lost their seasons.

By the way, six men and no women have won five challenges; also in the group of four-time winners is Kyle, so between him and Rachel, few people had a chance.

There was no drama about the impending fire-making challenge. At cam, in the ocean, where Sue was careful to not let any water get her face clean, Rachel said, “I can just tell you: You two are going to fire.”

That was Sam and Teeny; Rachel said Sue was going to the end because “Sue has been the only loyal ally I’ve had in this late stage in the game. This wouldn’t feel right without her sitting next to me in the final three.”

That’s both true and the best strategy, since Sue is the obvious zero vote-getter in any final three combination.

Sam said he didn’t practice fire-making, and Teeny thought he was fucking with her. He certainly sounded like that when he said “it’s a shame I don’t know how to make fire.”

“I’m just sick of Sam,” Teeny said. “The last thing I need … is him pulling these mind games on me.” But Sam wasn’t lying, and even cried. “I’m scared, I’m worried,” he said. “I’m afraid of lookin’ like an idiot.”

Throughout the game, Rachel made some Big Movez for sure, but also did a lot of subtle work that set herself up for success. Another example of that came as Rachel taught Teeny how to make fire. That was not, of course, selfless: Teeny is the other best final-three player.

With Sue guaranteed to join the finals, a moment to reflect on the fact that—and this is not me making a joke!—Sue is the oldest person to ever appear in a Survivor US final Tribal Council.

1. Kim Johnson, Africa, 56
2. Lillian Morris, Pearl Islands, 51
3. Bob Cratchit—I mean, Bob Crawley—Gabon, 57.
4. Phillip Sheppard, Redemption Island, 52
5. Michael Skupin, Phillipines, 50
6. Carolyn Rivera, Worlds Apart, 52
7. Tai Trang, Kaôh Rōng, 51
8. Troyzan Robertson, Game Changers, 54
9. Mike Turner, S42, 58
10. Gabler, ugh, S43, 52
11. Sue Smey, S47, 47 46 18 59

For the fire-making Tribal Council, Sol showed up in tie-die, and I was so disappointed, but little did I know what surprise he had in store for the actual final Tribal Council: the return of the shirtless vest, plus fingernails painted to match his scarf. Slay!

After Jeff Probst acknowledging Rachel’s four wins, and then bringing out a marching band and setting off fireworks to celebrate her joining “a very elite group of women,” he was basically like, Uh, but we’ll still vote and stuff.

“This is not a slam dunk that this season is over, it’s just recognizing a big achievement from a player,” Probst said to Sam, because why ask Rachel about her win when you can ask a man?

At one point, Rachel dismissed the idea of making fire herself, saying, “whatever that proves.” Indeed! That was only necessary for Chris Underwood, who, you know, hadn’t actually played the game for the entire season and needed to demonstrate something, anything for the jury.

Teeny and Sam’s battle was quite thrilling. Teeny got a spark, then flame, then a decent fire that eventually started to roar and lap away at the rope. Sam, meanwhile, couldn’t get it up—I mean, to spark.

But the wind was blowing teeny’s fire to the side, to the front, and when Sam got a spark, he was able to build up a fire. Then it was just a matter of which rope would snap first.

The jury’s reactions were amazing—Caroline grabbing Andy like they were watching a slasher movie—and with Teeny, who knows! Maybe it’d turn into one.

Sam’s rope snapped first, his flag went up, and Teeny cried. So of course Probst was like, let’s talk about this so I can grind some salt into that open wound.

Teeny said something about “losing to the big, handsome jock,” forgetting their conversation when they discovered they were both theatre kids and both played Mike Teavee in Willy Wonka.

The good news about Sam’s win is that it makes the final Tribal Council more competitive. At least, my assumption was that Sue and Teeny both get zero votes, for being loyal and useful tools for actual players in the game.

Over food at their camp, the final three talked through the jury—a version of “Rites of Passage,” a ritual from early seasons I still miss. In this version, we also heard from the jury members, like Caroline saying Sue is loyal and Sol pointing out Rachel’s advantages were not just luck.

“I’m the underdog, and I might look dead,” Sam said. “I’m not just hoping for fire, I’m hoping for fireworks.”

That kind of line is why Sam was given so much screen time for his confessionals this season. As of episode 13, Rachel was in the lead, with 26 minutes, but with 23, Sam had a full 10 more minutes of confessionals compared to his final-three competitor Sue, according to this helpful chart that a kind person compiled.

The first question came from Gabe, asking all three about how they thought their game would be remembered. And that cued up Sue to shock the world by completely ignoring the question and instead confessing something no one expected. She began:

“Something that’s very important that I need to share with all of you is that today, back home, is my birthday”

I guess in Fiji it is not her birthday? Is it like the Lost island or something? Sorry, I am delaying the big reveal:

And I’m not in the 40s

Yes, Sue is so old she couldn’t even remember her fake age, so she just gave a decade. In fairness, she kept choosing random ages from that decade to tell people. Anyway:

I’m actually 59

To quote Blanche Devereaux, I am stunned!

Sam reacted with the most shock—did he think she was actually older?!—while the jury was just like 😐.

So if I were to win, I will go down in history as being the oldest woman to ever win Survivor.

She undersold it: She’d be the oldest person to ever win. Her age may not have surprised anyone, but I was truly shocked that was her entire final Tribal Council argument. She just kept saying “59.” Juror: When did you make a strategic move? Sue: 59! 59! Fifty fucking nine!

But to give Sue credit, she also shat on two of the jurors, Andy and Kyle, so there’s that, too.

Sam is, as we’ve seen, extremely good at talking about his game, and he was as articulate as usual, though his opening arguments were all about dissing Rachel’s game and not playing up his own. “I found multiple pathways to get to the end without relying on immunity necklaces or buying the right item at the auction,” he said.

And to add yet another item to her extensive resume, Rachel was fantastic at casually batting away those kinds of arguments.

When they discussed Rachel’s funeral, after Sol said that backfired, Sam argued, “I was very intentional with the idea of elevating Rachel’s threat level.” Rachel said, “I think the problem is you didn’t take the threat out.” Just give her the million!

Earlier, Rachel said, “Having every single person in the game sell your game to the jury for you without you actually leaving the game? That was something I’ve never seen on Survivor.”

Rachel also did well at pointing out Sam’s game was weak. Obviously, he survived the constant threats against him, but he made some blunders, which she highlighted: “Saying you can’t beat someone in front of the jury and then going to the end with them is not a strategy I think is a very smart one.”

From the jury, Teeny was basically defending Rachel, saying that, at one point, they didn’t believe Sam, and Rachel said, “that didn’t really matter at all.” Hilariously, Sue jumped in: “we didn’t think twice about it.” Nice try pretending to have known what was going on!

I felt for Sue a little, as the jury was uninterested in asking her questions, until Gabe threw her one at the end.

Andy used his question about Rachel’s voting record to first shit on two of Survivor’s shittiest winners: “I know that coming into this that the likes of Mike Hollaway and Ben Driebergen are not highly ranked on your winner list.” The question, in Andy fashion, was weird—was Andy comparing her game to theirs? I hope not.

The closing arguments:

• Sam: “I think my game was the most well-rounded, adaptable, dynamic, and creative game of the three people sitting up here. Social and strategic resilience; creative game play.”
• Rachel: “the most dominant game of the three of us” “I controlled all of them—and that wasn’t just through luck, it was through social connection, it was through stealthiness … going from a super-underdog to a big dog”
• Sue: 59 59 59 59 59 59 59 59 59 59 59 59 59 59 59 59 59 59 59 59 59 59 59 59 59

When Jeff Probst read the votes, Rachel got the first, Sam got the second—the one vote we saw Kyle cast for him—and then came more Rachel votes. Sam knew at that point it was over.

Rachel won Survivor 47 with seven of the eight jury votes. Sue, of course, had zero.

Kyle later said he voted for Sam because “I really appreciate Sam, and I appreciate where he’s headed in life.” Uh, bro, that wasn’t the assignment. I mean, sure, a jury member can vote for someone because they like their hair, but what the fuck?

At the start of the aftershow, Jeff Probst said, “The reason that I like doing the aftershow immediately following is because this is as pure as it’ll ever get for any of you,” he said. “You haven’t been influenced by social media and all the criticism that will come with that, that you don’t deserve.”

Point of order! Guess when that’d also be true? The next morning or evening, after the final three had a chance to breathe and take a shower and eat something!

That said, I understand the reality: waiting until even the next day would mean an extra day of production, meaning more money, and doing the (partial) reunion this way saves a shitton of money. I mean, CBS used to do a live three-hour broadcast with a studio audience, fly out the contestants and pay each of them $10,000 just to show back up. Now, they pay for pizza and champagne.

The conversation was decent though, besides Kyle’s vote, not particularly insightful. Then again, I may have just passed out after Teeny said, “I was born the year Survivor came out.”

The episode ended with our first look at Survivor 48, and glimpses of players, including someone on the autism spectrum and someone who has massive biceps from just drinking chocolate milk. I look forward to all the milk jokes I can muster when this next season premieres in late February.