A woman decided to cancel hosting Christmas after her mom called the police on her husband in a heated family argument, and the internet has backed her decision.
The Reddit user, a 27-year-old woman (u/thottbubble), shared her dilemma in the "AITAH [Am I The A*****]" subreddit, where her post received 7,800 upvotes.
She explained that her 19-year-old sister called her crying, asking her to pick up their 17-year-old sister after their mom had slapped her during a fight.
"Our newborn baby was sleeping, and we wanted to get the 17yr old ASAP, so I stayed behind while my husband went to get both my sisters," the Redditor wrote.
"My mom and my 17yr old sister were at the laundry mat (altercation happened at home) when my husband walked up to their car and told my sister 'let's go.'
"My mom freaks out, causing a scene, starts yanking on the car door, telling him to let my sister out or she's calling the cops," she wrote.
Her husband locked the door and told her mom he was not letting her out, that she needed space, and he was taking her back to their place.
Her mom followed through on her threat and called the cops, sending them to the couple's home. However, the police sided with the husband, agreeing that the 17-year-old should be removed from the situation.
"This enraged my mom. For some odd reason, she hates that my sisters and I are close," the Redditor said.
The woman went on to describe her mom's pattern of behavior, stating that she often feels like an outsider and that her mom "sweeps everything under the rug." She added that her mom deflects and gaslights and says she is "such a bad mom" instead of taking accountability.
Reflecting on their strained relationship, she explained how her mom engaged in narcissistic behaviors throughout her childhood and adolescence.
"I am not letting her just sweep this under the rug and show up for Christmas like we are one big happy family. If she cannot come to us like an adult and apologize and have a mature conversation, she is not welcomed in my home. So...Christmas Eve is canceled.
"So anyways, AITA for canceling everyone's Christmas?" she asked.
Expert Weighs In
Dr. Sanam Hafeez, a New York-based neuropsychologist, told Newsweek that the Reddit user's actions reflect a need for self-preservation.
"She's taking a stand against toxic behavior, showing her daughter that it's okay to prioritize mental health and set boundaries, even with family," Hafeez said.
"Canceling Christmas affects not just her mom but also siblings," she said. "It sounds like her siblings rely on her for support, and this might be disappointing for them. However, you're she's obligated to host a gathering if it compromises her peace."
While canceling may impact her siblings, Hafeez suggested she could explore alternatives, like hosting her other family members without her mom.
Reddit Reacts
Redditors overwhelmingly supported the woman's decision, with many suggesting she exclude her mom but still host Christmas for the rest of the family.
"NTA—your husband's actions seem justified, and the police seemed to agree. Can you not have the dinner sans the mother?" one user asked.
"Agreed. Just have the sisters and dad over and completely ignore Mom," another commenter suggested.
"NTA for uninviting your mom. But I think you should still host Christmas for the rest of the family, cause it seems like your sisters and your dad didn't do anything wrong," a Redditor commented.
Newsweek reached out to u/thottbubble for comment via Reddit. We could not verify the details of the case.
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