A man who stepped in when he saw a woman being cat-called has sparked a huge conversation on how men can help in similar situations.
Martin Olive, 47, a cannabis dispensary owner, lives in San Francisco, and found himself going viral after he shared his unique response to witnessing a woman being catcalled.
"I think catcalling is a manipulative form of communication," Olive told Newsweek. "In a sense, it's a lot like gaslighting. Someone catcalls a woman under the guise of a 'compliment,' but the reality is, it's not a compliment; it's a passive aggressive trap laid out to force a response from a person who has zero interest in engaging with them."
Olive took to his Threads account @martinolive on November 13, where he shared he was recently walking through town a few feet behind a woman, when "a guy driving by, slows down and says, 'you look beautiful.'"
Writing that the comment was "clearly meant for the woman," Martin himself responded: "Thanks, I feel beautiful."
"She looks back towards me with a relieved laugh and the driver gets mad and speeds off, all disgruntled and fussy."
Olive told Newsweek the man "half-yelled" the phrase at the woman, and after he drove off, the woman told him "thanks for that."
Olive's post proved popular on Threads, racking up over 40,000 likes, as many praised him for stepping in, with one writing: "Men take note: always do this!"
"You are a super hero," another said, as a third wrote: "Thanks for doing that, brother."
Plenty shared their own experiences with catcalling, as one put it: "A car pulling up is so menacing - even if unintended. Someone may mean it as a compliment but it's very uncomfortable because seriously what do you expect me to do?"
Olive himself echoed these sentiments, telling Newsweek he "never understood" what the catcaller "expects to happen", calling it "sad, desperate behavior."
"Is she supposed to blush at being admired by him? Jump out in the middle of the street to hand him her phone number? Like, what is the desired result?" Olive asked. "It's really nothing more than a feeble attempt to hold power over someone's attention for a few seconds, knowing full well they're annoyed by it."
Another commenter recalled being a teenager when a man pulled up, honked his horn and shouted an insult at her, writing: "The man just saw an opportunity to be frightening and took it and I had no way of standing up for myself."
But not everyone agreed, as one woman said it was a "jolly awesome thing to be appreciating someone or something," and "in and of itself it's a harmless and meaningful thing".
And another posted: "I love compliments. From strangers. It's always free, and spontaneous. If I don't like it I don't answer. But I don't want men to feel like compliments = harassing because most of the time, although we hate to admit it, we love the attention."
However, commenters hit back, urging her to "speak for yourself," with another writing: "Please don't speak for other women, YOU like the attention. And that's fine."
Newsweek spoke to Dr Enya Doyle, anti-harassment consultant, who praised Martin's method of intervention.
"People often think that intervention has to be very serious, direct and confrontational but this is a great example of how humour can be used to change the outcome," she said.
"There are thousands of different ways to respond well when you witness harassment of any kind," Dr Doyle explained, acknowledging that some people will feel comfortable speaking up, while others won't.
"If you feel safe to intervene, as this person did, you might choose to diffuse the situation and/or distract. It also importantly says to the person being harassed: 'I'm here and I understand what's happening'."
Olive told Newsweek he never expected his post to go viral, and it was "illuminating" to read the hundreds of comments from women and their experiences.
"I don't know what women have to deal with every day, with guys like that," he said. "I couldn't imagine how, at best it's annoying and at worst, it's dangerous and terrifying.
"Reading those comments on Threads taught me a bit about their perspective and I'm glad to have learned something about the issue."
English (US) ·